Scissors Don't Lie

Raven and brown and red and golden 
Four hundred loads of fresh-cut hair 
From the girls who live along the coast 
Four hundred trucks to the ocean there 


The ocean’s as black as the east 
From oil as black as a tree 
And a bald girl along for the ride looking north 
Who’s given her hair for the health of the sea.


We here declare that the shorn Romy Childerhose will look with great satisfaction this coming November, when she finds that the story of how a bully once chopped off the hair of a misfit, like her, a kid who recalled the act with terror for the rest of his life, has cost this man the Presidency.

Mitt Romney wasn't just a kid who wanted to conform. He was the kid who wanted to enact the conformity, enforce the conformity. He wanted to be a leader for conformity, of conformity, about conformity. And you know what? He still does.

Scissors don't lie.

And John Lauber, with his non-conformist, swept-down, bleached blonde hair that his sister says he wore for the rest of his life despite the act of the boy pictured at right—is now and will forever be an honorary member of the Lacuna Cabal.

Signed,

Jennifer H. & Danielle D.
Former Members
Lacuna Cabal Montreal Young Womens' Book Club